Reading Her Tests Like A Book

Why her shit tests tell you everything you need to know about her

This reddit post graced my timeline and predictably a lively discussion had formed itself in the comments. I read through most comments and realized how little the average man understands about shit tests. Acting like it’s some sort of dumb black box thing that dumb women do to sabotage their relationships. They are completely oblivious to the nature of shit tests and how her shit tests are a powerful tool for you to use.

Before we get into this thing (and pay attention because reading shit tests is a powerful skill when it comes to dealing with women) I want to do 2 small things.

1. I want to make it clear that I’m not a fan of the word shit test. I’m only using it because everyone knows what I’m talking about and because I don’t have a better term for it. Shit test has a very negative connotation to it whilst the behavior of “shit testing” can also be very positive.

2. I want you to read the reddit post again and ask yourself: Why did she shit test him like this? Assume that she (subconsciously) knew what she was doing & that the story is real and happened the way she describes it: Why did she point out to her husband that she has a crush on their new neighbor? I want you to think for yourself for a moment before I tell you.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s dive in.

A lot has already been said about shit tests. About how it’s her way of testing you. A way of nagging at you. Shit tests are something you need to pass to get with her etc etc. 1000’s of articles, 1000’s of opinions on shit tests. But there’s one thing almost none of these articles try to do. Almost no article tries to understand shit tests from a female perspective. Why do women shit test? What is the benefit of shit tests and why are they part of seduction and dating?

Even when guys do touch this subject, it’s never really discussed in an objective, curious manner. It’s always done in the same way a Gaulic peasant would write an article about why Julius Ceasar and his Roman legions are fighting their way through Gaul. “They’re just violent brutes with a passion for murder!”. Almost 0 understanding of the true motives and pressures tht Julius faced.

There is one thing this entire shit test discussion lacks severely: Curiosity. Why would a woman shit test? Dunno fam but you should just dumb her back on the streets because she’s a ho!

You might think I’m exaggerating, but I posed the question on my TL and most of the replies I got were something along these lines. “She’s just shittesting because she’s a dumb girl and his frame is weak!”.

You may have jumped to this conclusion as well when I asked you to think it over. And here’s why you’re wrong and why you’re leaving a powerful skill unused:

Why she shit tested him

Why would a woman shit test her man by saying another man is kinda cute? Why would she shit test him in the first place?

She’s shit testing him because she knows something is wrong. She might not be able to rationally explain what it is, but she can feel in her gut that something isn’t quite right. This is at the core of every shit test. If she’s a surfer babe and you’re the local surfer champion. You two meet and hit it off incredibly well on all sorts of levels. Physique, intellectual, interests, life style, etc. Then there will be close to 0 shit tests from her. Why? Because everything is right. She knows deep down in her gut that you two are a 1 in a million match and that you were made for each other. In her mind there’s a perfect little story mapped out for you two and she has no reason to doubt that story.

If however, she runs into one of her friends and tells her “I met this amazing guy, we’re perfect for each other!” and the friend responds: Ow you’re dating Johny? Well good luck with that, he’s a massive player that cheated on his ex girlfriend. He slept with Katie from our friend group and didn’t call her afterwards. Pretty sure he also tried to get with me but when I rejected him he went home with another girl.

Now suddenly the shit tests will start. She now has a reason to believe that you don’t fit into her perfect story. Understand that this is largely a subconscious process. She will probably still be smitten with you because you guys do really match fantastically. But she now also has reasons to believe you’ll break her heart or just lead her on.

She shit tests you because she needs to know if you are going to be that guy that fits her story. Are you the guy she’s going to travel the world with, settle down with & raise 3 kids together in a little house next to the beach?

Women will only shit test you if they think you might fit their story. She’s not going to shit test the 70 year old drunk guy that tries to hit on her. She’s just going to dismiss him with a disgusted feeling. The 25 year old hot guy that doesn’t seem like he’s her type though. Him she’ll shit test to see if there’s more than what meets the eye. Maybe he does fit into her story if she gives him a chance. The only way to find out is to test him

Side note: Shit testing can happen for several reasons, not just romantically. She can also shit test you if you want to do business together for instance. To see if you’re a suitable business partner. And importantly, realize that men shit test too. A high value man will test his potential romantic/business/friend/family partners. You just can’t afford to be surrounded by low quality individuals. Your favorite sports team has a strict selection procedure. You can’t just walk onto the Yankees field and pitch a few rounds just because you want to play baseball.

The woman in this example was shit testing her man because she felt deep down below that something was amiss in her relationship. What she might not have known. My guess is she honestly didn’t know because she sounds pretty clueless in her question on reddit. But she felt it.

And she was right. There was something wrong in her relationship, because one little shit test was enough to blow it up!

And I know you’re probably thinking “He was right to dump her, how dare she tell him she’s into other men. No respect for his frame!”

To which my reply is: Grow up.

Yeah sure she doesn’t deserve a style award for what she did, but do you really think you’re ever going to be in a long term relationship where your woman will never ever see another man and think “Wow he’s hot”. Do you really think you’re going to be together with her for years and she’s never going to feel some feelings for another man?

Be real here. You can’t even leave the house and walk into a busy part of town without seeing multiple women that you could see yourself having sex with. Men will fantasize about being with the cute barista just because she smiled at him when she gave him his coffee, yet they expect women to be these asexual droids that only turn on their sexuality when they’re in the bedroom with their husbands.

She didn’t do anything extreme, and judging her clouds your capacity for observation. Because here is why she shit tested him & why she did it in the way she did:

She felt like she was losing her husband. She had already sensed that he was losing attraction towards her.

Look at his response: One comment from her about another guy and he immediately yells DIVORCE!!! That’s not the action of a man who loves his woman and is happy about his relationship with her. If you are in a loving relationship of 5 years, you’re not putting her on the street because she makes one mistake (not talking about huge mistakes like cheating here). This man acted like a man that already wanted to get out of the relationship but was looking for an excuse. He needed something he could use so he didn’t look like the bad guy for breaking up with her.

Now I know this is the point where a lot of guys are going to get angry and shoot into cognitive dissonance. Because we all know it’s always the woman’s fault and men are perfect innocent little angels. But get over yourself. Men do shitty things just as often as women do and in this case we’re dealing with an immature man that isn’t willing to take any kind of responsibility. 

Which is why she’s shit testing him in the first place and why he’s running towards the exit as fast as he can. Notice how he doesn’t even want to talk things over with her. He doesn’t want her to have a chance to keep him in the marriage. He just wants out and he’s not letting her take away his excuse. A man that’s in love with his woman and happy with his relationship doesn’t act like this. He might cry, he might overreact, but he doesn’t yell divorce immediately. And even if he does yell divorce in a fit of anger, he wouldn’t go through with it after he’s had some time to cool down.

Note: I don’t know any details about their relationship. He might have good reasons for wanting to leave, but the way in which he does it reveals weakness. A strong man will tell his wife he wants a divorce and why he wants it. Even if it makes him the bad guy. A strong man will carry that responsibility because he knows he can and that he owes that much to a woman that was faithful to him for 5 years.

Let’s get to why she shit tested him the way she did.

This is a classic case of the two genders not understanding each other. She mentioned having a crush on another guy because she was trying to make him feel jealous. She was trying to make him work harder for her.

She did this because it’s something that would have worked on her. If he had told her about his coworker that’s kinda cute and he has somewhat of a crush on her, she would have felt jealousy and would have worked hard to win him back over.

She doesn’t understand that men don’t really work that way, and that pulling the “wow this other guy is cute” card is only going to make her man feel inadequate or disgusted with her.

Here’s how understanding shit tests can be a superweapon:

If her husband had been a star at reading shit tests, he would have known that she wasn’t trying to emasculate him or cheat. She’s just trying to get him to reaffirm his desire for her. She might be doing it in a very clumsy manner, but it’s not malicious. If she had wanted to cheat on her husband with her neighbor, she would have done it without saying anything. Men & women start affairs with their neighbors all the time. They don’t proclaim their desire for their neighbor, they try to hide it. Affairs don’t work if you’re going to tell your partner beforehand (unless you’re into that weird kinky shit).

Now in this case, the husband was already looking for a way out. However, often that’s not the case. Often the guy has no desire of leaving, there are just things within the relationship that need to be addressed. Remember: She only shit tests you if she cares. She shit tests you because you’re still in her perfect little story, but there are some things that give her reason to doubt if you should be in there. If you were out of her story, you’d know. A woman that throws you out of your heart is not going to shit test you. Either you’re dead to her, or she’ll be very resentful towards you.

In this particular case. Her husband could have had 2 major potential benefits from being able to read shit tests. Either he would have read one of her earlier shit tests as a warning sign of trouble in their relationship & he would have been in time to course correct. Or, he would have realized way earlier that he didn’t really want to be in this relationship in the first place. So either he would have saved his relationship, or he would have saved a lot of time.

This is the power of reading shit tests. It will either give/save you relationships, or it will save you time and energy.

Shit tests are like a formula you can crack. Every shit test comes from a place of doubt from her end. Figure out what the doubt is and you learn what’s lacking in your relationship. A happy woman who is living her perfect story has very little reason to shit test.

And this isn’t just about her shit tests either. You also have a story inside your head. If you feel like there is a potential reason why she doesn’t fit into that story, you will start shit testing her as well. For you this will also be a mostly subconscious process if you don’t take the effort to make it conscious. If you ever catch yourself throwing shit tests at her, realize that you’re doing this because you feel that something isn’t right in your relationship. Go figure out what it is and if it’s something that you can do something about.

Relationship problems are like cancer. If you can spot them early on, you can usually cure them. If you ignore them, they will grow until there’s no way left to save the patient.

Reading shit tests is like reading blood charts & mri scans. The better you are at it, the better you can detect issues early on and either save your relationship, or save yourself a lot of time & problems.

Because whereas this shit test was relatively innocent, there are also plenty of women who will shit test in awful ways (usually because either they have a lot of personal problems or they feel that your relationship is bad and they’re with one foot into the next one).

So suspend your judgment. Figure out why she’s (or you’re) acting the way she is, and then take the required actions to either strengthen your relationship, or break up in the cleanest way possible.

And if you want more deep insights into the female mind, go read my book: DKSM